A love story interwoven by art
New painting: "Engagement"
The original of my 2016 painting, “Find Your Heart(h)”, hangs over the fireplace in our living room. We have quite a few of my originals hanging around our apartment, but this painting is different as it holds particular importance to our love story.
When Stefan and I began getting to know each other, I had enormous doubts about my ability to be a romantic partner. This was hardly surprising since I was 37 years old and he was my first real romantic relationship. Time and again I’d been told, explicitly and implicitly, that it was not only going to be hard for someone to see value in me as a partner because of my disability but that I was going to be a burden to them.
What could I possibly offer him?
Then one night, as I was mulling over this question in the dark, I noticed Stefan stirring fitfully in his sleep. Without thinking, I reached out and took his hand. At my touch, he curled his body around our hands—his 6’1” frame to my 3’7”—and I instantly had this vision of being a flame that he was seeking warmth from.
Up until that point I had been so focused on this almost Don Quixote-like quest of finding someone to see past my disability and love me for who I saw myself to be that I had completely lost sight of the fact that I also had something to give.
My love in and of itself had enormous value. I could be a “hearth” to someone.
To better preserve this fragile epiphany, I decided to paint a representation of the image that had come to me that night and I finished “Find Your Heart(h)” about a year later. I would have finished it sooner, but I hadn’t anticipated the amount of headache that would be involved in creating the impression of the many, many mosaic tiles that make up the background of the design.
In 2019, the painting made an appearance in the form of a large canvas print and the title of my first solo exhibit which happened in conjunction with our wedding. At the time it felt like a full circle moment to have “Find Your Heart(h)” there as it had played such a pivotal role in getting our relationship to that point.
Looking back on it now though, I realize that that exhibit was a rough dress rehearsal for this summer’s exhibit. It felt right to pull the thread back around again and weave “Find Your Heart(h)” into the new exhibit… and my engagement ring provided the perfect inspiration.
When I announced our engagement, I laid the ring on the original canvas of “Find Your Heart(h)” and snapped a photo to post on social media.
That photo became this new painting and a key thread of our story is woven anew.
…when Stefan proposed, he said he chose this ring because it reminded him of that painting... our painting... and I love that... I love that there is both our past and our future right here.
Our story so far has been amazing, luv, and I can’t wait to start this next chapter with you.
~ posted to Facebook - June 4, 2018 ~
I had meant to leave a comment here to let you know this was one of the most beautiful experiences to read this. Your story coupled with the art was just gorgeous on so many levels! Thank you!
Such a beautiful story! and the painting is one of my faves!